Request a Review

Do you have a story in mind that makes you rub your hands together in nefarious glee, but sadly no one to play it with? Post your plots here (evilness not required) and see who might be interested! Or, if you have a check list of adventurous tasks, tracking topics are welcome as well.
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Memoria
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Request a Review

Post by Memoria »

While there is no approval process to start writing in Khy'eras, a writer may find themselves wanting a review of a character. To have a critique completed, reply to this thread with a character profile or plotter link. Staff will respond via PM with a review containing suggestions to help a person begin their adventures in the realm of Khy'eras.

Pending Reviews

None.

Completed Reviews

Aeirn Vryndîr
Aryn
Aster Rindahl
Bronzim Dawnchaser
Cirice Vaisha
Darius Goldmane
Ffraid
Horus
Nicodemus Arves
Roan Mohan
Ruthaya Sangra
Seian Verian
Shesurus
Slaine
Teowolf
Toa
Val Bellamy
William Spurr
Val Bellamy
Character
100% Guaranteed Not Her Fault
Level
01
24 / 24 HP
20 / 20 MP
0p / 0g / 0s / 50c
Race: Human and Elemental
Class: Bard
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Re: Request a Review

Post by Val Bellamy »

I know I've asked a million questions already, but I'm finally happy-ish with a picture and have everything down on paper for ol' Val here, and I'd appreciate a once-over to make sure all the relevant bits are lore compliant!
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Memoria
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Re: Request a Review

Post by Memoria »

@Val Bellamy This looks good! I don't have any issues with your character profile and I say go for it. I like that you left readers little hints, but didn't totally give everything away. I think the only question I had was where you stated in regards to Fennel Bellamy, "Lovingly referred to by a nickname inspired from a wonderful and woefully embarrassing story..". Is Fennel the nickname or something yet to be disclosed?

Looking forward to see what you cook up for Val and nice work on the custom art! <3
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Slaine
Character
Meddler
Level
01
23 / 23 HP
21 / 21 MP
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Race: Fae and Human
Class: Wizard
Posts: 45
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Re: Request a Review

Post by Slaine »

Here, have a Slaine!
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Memoria
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Re: Request a Review

Post by Memoria »

@Slaine I like it! I can't wait to see what adventures Slaine gets herself into and if she uncovers her mysterious parentage and who those folk might be.

I think the only question I had was regarding her complexion. It only says, "Pale, dark circles beneath her eyes." I imagine, therefore, the rest of her skin tone is rather pale. Definitely not something to worry about and it doesn't need to change for you to start writing, but thought I would mention it.
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Aeirn Vryndîr
Character
Ranger of the Road
Level
01
24 / 24 HP
16 / 16 MP
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Race: Kerasoka
Class: Ranger
Posts: 32
Joined: July 14th, 2019, 3:53 am

Re: Request a Review

Post by Aeirn Vryndîr »

Well, it's finally finished, my Kerasoka!
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Re: Request a Review

Post by Memoria »

@Aeirn Vryndîr I'm so happy some one made a Kerasoka! I'm excited to see what you do with our non-magical elves. :D

There was one thing that was a little off in the background. From my reading, it felt like Aeirn discovered his religion in Kelorha and Nilbein during the war with Bhelest. Idolism was not defined as a religion until after Bhelest's death when people thought it was safe, around 008 AoN. Kelorha is rumored to be old, but was more like a guardian/protector at the time until Idolism. I think you could still say that Aeirn paid tribute to Kelorha or death through other methods, but it wouldn't be attributed to Idolism until a certain point in history.

Not sure if any of that made sense. (I'm getting tired. lol)
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Aeirn Vryndîr
Character
Ranger of the Road
Level
01
24 / 24 HP
16 / 16 MP
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Race: Kerasoka
Class: Ranger
Posts: 32
Joined: July 14th, 2019, 3:53 am

Re: Request a Review

Post by Aeirn Vryndîr »

@Memoria Right! Yeah, I'll make a few adjustments, I was thinking it was a little off, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it, thanks for the comments!

Edit: Should be fixed maybe? If you could have a look at it again quickly just to make sure it's alright that'd be great @Memoria thanks! :)
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Memoria
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Re: Request a Review

Post by Memoria »

Aeirn Vryndîr wrote: July 14th, 2019, 5:10 am Edit: Should be fixed maybe? If you could have a look at it again quickly just to make sure it's alright that'd be great @Memoria thanks! :)
That looks lovely! Go forth and conquer!
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William Spurr
Character
Tough Tar
Level
01
24 / 24 HP
18 / 18 MP
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Race: Human
Class: Rogue
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Re: Request a Review

Post by William Spurr »

Hello! I've drafted up William here, I'd much appreciate any pointers or suggestions for modifications or something perhaps to expand on!
I did not want to make too many assumptions around the maritime situations, however I understood that despite the mists there is some traffic on the seas and waterways. That is probably what I'm most concerned about getting right!
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